Words By Mae

I dwell in the past.

A lot.

I dwell on late night Czech Stop runs while I was at Baylor. I dwell on watching the sunset over the Arno River while I studied in Florence. I dwell on feeling empowered and confident while I lived in Nashville.

I have this nasty habit of living in the past and glazing over the present. I dwell on all of these wonderful, Instagram picture-perfect moments, because the present seems  dull and overrated.

Sometimes, I fear I peaked at the ripe age of 21. By 21, I lived in Italy, graduated from Baylor and moved to Nashville to start a new life.

I actually catch myself thinking, “Oh, to be 21 again.” — as if that was such a long time ago — it’s only been two years.

Past-minded living is a recipe for present-day bitterness.

When I look back and remember the good old days, I forget there are good days in these moments and even more to come. When I live in the past, I’m too busy to dwell in the present and hope in the future.

Living in the past leaves me discontent with what I have in the present and hopeless in what I might in the future.

My tattoo reads, “Andiamo!”

This means “Let’s go,” in Italian. It’s a tiny reminder on my wrist to go, not stay.

To go meet good people and do good things. To go forward and onward and upward because the past remains the past. To go and not stay stuck sifting through who I have been and what I have done.

I want to “go” more in 2018. I want to put my glory days on a shelf in the back of my mind, not at the forefront of my thoughts. I want to be content with where I am and hopeful of where I may be in the future.

I want to savor these moments, look forward to the future, make friends, do good things, laugh constantly and chase dreams.

So what are we waiting for? Andiamo! Let’s go!